Tuesday 4 October 2011

YouTube Transcriptions: JeremyJahns' 'Drive' Review

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bi4Ll-q3N_Q&feature=feedu


"Hipsters get ready: you’re about to crucify a man on YouTube.

‘Drive’: So if you remember, I was looking forward to ‘Drive’.  ‘Drive’ stars Ryan Gosling and he plays a driver.  ???? driver by day and then he’s like, you know, a driver from Grand Theft Auto; he drives criminals around at night.  And he has these set rules, man; he’s like, “We meet here; you’re on time; you got five minutes; I drive; I don’t carry a gun… You do the dirty work; I will drive you anywhere, but in that five minutes, I am yours”.  When he was listing off the rules at the very beginning of the movie, I was like, “Dude, this is awesome”; I love people like this”.  I love it when they’re that methodical and you gotta be on time because you know he’s gonna leave your ass behind if you’re not.  And, on that, the beginning of this movie is so awesome.  He’s driving these guys on a job and he is just working his craft; he is a badass behind the wheel.  And then after that, the beginning credits come on and I was like, “Dude, I am so hyped for this right now”.  There’s no real human being who can watch the first five minutes of this movie and be like “Er…not my thing”.  But!  Then after that, you know, the movie continues.  And the movie really slows down.  It slows down to a pretty drastic degree and about a half an hour into the movie – after, you know, about ten lines of dialogue have been spoken – I was like, “This is truly an art house movie”.  And you guys know, art house movies, they’re just not my thing.  And people are saying that ‘Drive’ is just the perfect blend of art house meets action.  Not really, it-it’s just art house.  I mean, in terms of action, both the action sequences are in the trailer.  There are two drive sequences – two!  Ones at the very beginning of the movie, and the next one’s like half-way into the movie.  In between it focuses on Ryan Gosling meeting this girl, you know, and she all makes him feel warm and fuzzy.  Although he’s not really the warm and fuzzy type.  He just kinda sits there and stares and…gives a look and doesn’t say much.  ’Cause it’d just be like, “Oh, you’re a stunt driver from a movie?  That’s awesome, anything I’ve heard of?” … “Okie doke”.  And it’s kinda like that.  Which I get is his character because, you know, he could kill you.  And I like knowing that; I like knowing this whole time that guy could just snap and kill people.  And Ryan Gosling plays it perfectly; he’s a good actor.  The guy plays a really stoic driver who barely talks, who could probably snap your neck with his pinky perfectly.  There were some scenes where you’re like, “Dude, that guy is just gonna murder some folks”.  You knew you didn’t wanna be on the receiving end of it, but you knew you wanted to see what he was gonna do.  Now, when people defend this movie; I cannot argue their points.  I can’t say they’re totally wrong, because people say the movie’s well filmed and it is well-filmed; well acted – it’s well acted.  Everyone’s a good actor in this movie; there’s like no weak link.  But it doesn’t change the fact that I found the movie to be really boring, at least for half of it.  You know the exciting s*** it shows in the trailer?  That’s the half-way mark on.  If you like art house movies, you’re gonna love ‘Drive’, and you’re gonna defend it to your dying breath.  Watch it now before it’s shown to you in every film class you have later on in life.  If you don’t like art house movies, I don’t think you’re gonna like ‘Drive’.  So, for me, the movie was...a Tour De Force!  All right, guys – your favourite driving movie that has to do with drivers or driving that has more than two driving scenes.  What’s your favourite?  Comment below; let me know.  In any case, if you like what you’ve seen here and you wanna see more, click right here to see more!"

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