Tuesday 4 October 2011

YouTube Transcriptions: JeremyJahns' 'Killer Elite' Review


"Spies and guns and Jason Statham!  It’s…almost like we’ve seen this before, a lot.

‘Killer Elite’: Now, ‘Killer Elite’ is pretty simple, yet a lot happens in it.  It takes place in the 80’s; Jason Statham’s like, “All right, I’m done killing people”.  Then a year later, someone kidnaps one of his friends and they’re like, “All right, we need you to kill these three people because we hate them”, so Statham’s like, “???? with those sausages, Charlie”.  Actually, he didn’t say that, but, you know, he pretty much agrees.  And then he kills people.  And then Clive Owen’s hot on his trail; he’s like, “All right, I’m a guy who kills people also and he’s killing people that we like, so we’re gonna go after him”, and then, you know, you got your movie.  Now, supposedly Killer Elite’s based on like a true story; it’s based on a book.  And I don’t know if it’s really based on a true story; I don’t know if it happened how it happened in this movie.  Because if you look into it, every website that you find sayin’ it is true, you [can] find another one saying it’s all bulls***, so I don’t know.  And the actors in this movie, they’re really good.  Robert De Niro’s in it; Jason Statham’s in it; Clive Owen – I’ve always liked those guys.  I mean, Clive Owen especially.  The first time I saw Clive Owen, I was like, “That dude’s a badass” and then he became, like, you know, big – he’s in that Angelina Jolie movie where she steps on a mine.  That’s all I remember about the movie, but I remember he was awesome.  So I guess I remember two things about the movie.  Some of the characters were good; the others, you don’t care about.  You’re like, “All right, let’s just have people die”.  It almost feels like, going into this movie, I should’ve gotten like a page of character bios that I didn’t get.  Like, when you buy your ticket for this movie, you should get a page of just all the characters and their bios and what they do; where they work.  Like, “Oh, this is Clive Owen’s character: he worked here, now he works here; he does this because of this” – so you at least know a bit about ’em.  You know, like ‘Batman Arkham Asylum’ had where it’s like, “Oh, this is Edward Nigma: he does this and this and this”.  And you’re like, “Oh, OK, all right, I already knew that, but OK, it’s good to have the bio”.  And there are some moustaches in here, let me tell you.  These moustaches put Chad (?) to shame.  Straight-up 80’s moustaches.  It was quite awesome.  Now, like I said, a lot happens in this movie.  A lot.  So much, in fact, that it almost seems like disjointed.  More happens in ‘Killer Elite’ than movies that I’ve seen that are like twice the length of ‘Killer Elite’.  And Killer Elite’s just a two hour movie.  You know ‘Apollo 13’ where they’re like, “All right, we need this to fit into this using nothing but that”?  It’s almost like that.  ’S like the writer and director were like, All right, we need all these events to happen in a movie that’s just two hours long”.  At a point in this movie, I was like, “All right, it’s coming to the end of the movie – I know because a lot of stuff has happened; people are dead; it’s - wow, there’s an hour left in the movie”.  And like I said, the acting’s really good in the movie.  I like the action in the movie, too.  It’s actually really exciting.  You know, shoot-outs; Jason Statham fighting Clive Owen.  When they throw down, you’re like, “All right, awesome”.  A big bees nest underground, how is that not cool?  And kinda terrifying ’cause I’d haul ass; I-I’d be like, “No, I’m out”.  Bees: uh-uh.  I saw ‘Honey, I Shrunk the Kids’ – it never ends well.  But this movie just wasn’t locked down, you know; it was a little rough around the edges.  It just wasn’t put together as well as I wanted it to be.  It’s almost like they come up with a Sci-Fi movie that’s OK, but you just think to yourself, “Oh, it’s all right, but I do have Battlestar Galactica’, ‘Firefly’, and ‘Star Wars’ before BETA (?) yelled ‘no’”.  I don’t need one that’s just OK.  That’s kinda like ‘Killer Elite’ for me.  There are a lot of Spy movies and hit man movies and Thrillers that are done better than ‘Killer Elite’.  Then you got ‘Cloak and Dagger’ from the 80’s.  Not really, but you know, whatever.  In the end, I’ll say, it’s OK, but you’re not gonna remember it in T-Minus one day.  I mean, with De Niro and Clive Owen, I just thought it would be better; it’s not as good as a De Niro and Clive Owen movie.  You know what was really good in the movie is the sound.  Far be it for me to be an audio file or something like that, but the sound was really good.  When something blew up, you knew it blew up.  When a gun shot went off and people weren’t supposed to hear it, it went off.  You’re like, “Someone heard that”.  So I gotta give it up for the sound; the sound was really good.  All right, so, spies; espionage; hit men; actions; guns – all the good stuff.  What’s your favourite movie of that type?  Comment below; let me know!   And, as always, if you like what you’ve seen here and you wanna see more, click right here to see more!"

No comments:

Post a Comment