"Me reviewing ‘Dolphin Tale’. You couldn’t have called that, but here I am, so here it is.
‘Dolphin Tale’: So I really didn’t know much about ‘Dolphin Tale’. I mean, I just saw the poster and I was like, “Oh, a movie with Morgan Freeman in, that’s cool”. Although I don’t know if it means much any more. I mean, he did do the voice-over in ‘Conan the Barbarian’, so I-I dunno. All right, so, Dolphin Tale’s the story of a kid – you know, he’s a loner kid; he’s a daydreamer; he doesn’t really like school (he’s in summer school actually). Reminds me of me in high school. And he comes across a dolphin on a beach, and its tail’s wrapped up in rope, and so the dolphin gets taken away to this rehabilitation centre run by Harry Connick Jr, and then the kid’s bonding with this dolphin and that’s our movie. Now, it sounds really cheesy, and in parts it kinda is. I mean, it’s really heart-felt movie and they do the heart-felt stuff really well; it’s a really good family movie, but there are parts where you’re like, “This is one of those Hallmark movies… Don’t know if I’m supposed to enjoy this, yet I kinda do…” And there’s nothing wrong with that; I’m letting you know right now, if you watch ‘Dolphin Tale’ and you have that feeling where you’re like, “Ahh, it’s really nice” – you’re not weird. It’s OK. Your friends will give you c*** for it, but I’m just saying it’s all right. So just tell ’em, “Hey, Jeremy said it’s all right”. And Morgan Freeman’s role in this movie – when I saw him, I was like, “OK, here’s what happens: this movie takes place after ‘The Dark Knight Rises’. In ‘The Dark Knight Rises’, Batman’s gonna get his back broken; Wayne Enterprise’s stock is gonna drop; they’re gonna have to sell the company; the company’s gonna be gone; ‘Lucius Fox’ is gonna be out of a job, and which he now is in ‘Dolphin Tale’”. His character is exactly that, I swear. And he’s really good in the movie – he’s Morgan Freeman, I can’t be like, “Ah, Morgan Freeman – he was the weak link right there” ’cause that’s – it-it probably won’t happen. Ever. And what I like about ‘Dolphin Tale’ is, although it concentrates on this dolphin having to adapt and survive because it loses its tail, it does a good job at linking that to human beings about how they have to survive and overcome obstacles. It was just really true and it’s an important message and I like that. Doesn’t change the fact that sometimes you’re like, “Hallmark movie, I’m just sayin’”. However, you can take the most jaded human being on Earth, and by the end of this movie, if they’re still like, “I don’t know, it’s just stupid”, they officially hate people who conquer obstacles and hardships. And they hate kids and dolphins (which, who doesn’t hate kids these days? But dolphins, they’re all right). And Dolphin Tale’s based on a true story; I didn’t know that. So the fact it’s based on a true story like cuts back on the cheese factor and like amps up the, “Oh, wow, that’s really cool” factor. One of the coolest parts is the end credits; it shows real footage of all the stuff happening that you just saw, but like, you know, real. And the movie actually had it pretty true to form; this stuff really happened. So that was awesome right there. In the end, I’ll say: it’s a good time; no alcohol required. In a really strong family movie kinda way. Like, if you’re playing Gears of War right now and you’re just shredding through everybody, I don’t expect you to put down the controller and be like, “Dudes, I’ll be back; I’m watching ‘Dolphin Tale’” – it’s just not realistic. However, it has my stamp of approval as a really good family movie. So what can I ask you about a movie like – what’s your favourite dolphin movie? I’m not gonna do that. In any case, if you like what you’ve seen here and you wanna see more, click right here to see more!"
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