"Nukes in movies – cool! Zombie apocalypse – awesome! Pathogens – scariest s*** ever!
‘Contagion’: All right, now as some of you may know, I’ve been lookin’ forward to this movie for a while. I love these kind of movies. Specifically, ‘Outbreak’ – I was a big fan of ‘Outbreak’ back in the day. I loved the Hell out of that movie. So now, I felt like this was gonna be ‘Outbreak’ 2011. So how did it hold up? Well, here it is. Now I might compare this movie to the movie ‘Outbreak’ a few times, but, in all fairness, you know, viruses… people dying… ‘Outbreak’ – ‘Contagion’… Now, if you don’t know what it’s about, ‘Contagion’ has an all-star cast and it’s about a virus that’s just wiping out mankind. And no one really knows where this thing came form; it’s like the Plague back in the day or Bieber Fever two years ago – it just sprung onto the scene; just started doin’ damage. Now we gotta deal with it. But this virus wasn’t messin’ around. I mean, it was really cool to see. This thing kills you in like a day. You get it; you feel a little ill; by that night, you’re dead. So it really kinda freaks you out; you’re like, “Ahhh, maybe I should wash my hands more often”. Now, what I liked about this movie were the performances – the performances were solid. And it really focuses on Matt Damon. Usually movies like this, the movie takes place in like the span of seven days, so it’s like one of those, “Oo, the virus is gonna break out; in seven days, we deal with it; fix it; life goes on”. This movie takes place in the span of months. So, it all just happens, man. I mean, the virus comes out; people start dying; people start getting scared; people start looting; people start killing; people are m-are freaked out. It really shows what would happen in a situation like this. I mean, ‘Outbreak’ was like, “Oh, it’s in the town and we can’t let it escape the town; let’s not let it escape the town”. ‘Contagion’ is what happens when the virus escapes the town. Yeah, we’re all screwed. But in that, the movie spans months and is condensed into a two hour movie. It feels like it was filmed to be a four hour movie and then it was like edited down to two hours. So it feels like things are missing in the movie. Like, some of the characters are useless. Marion Cotillard or Coti - however you say her last name. I hate silent l’s. I hate - I hate ’em. In any case, she’s in the movie and then at a point you don’t see her for like an hour. Easily an hour. At least an hour. And then later on, it shows her again; you’re like, “I forgot that chick was even in this movie; that’s right”. And then there’s a scene where she’s like, “Oh, Holy c**p, I need to get to this town; I need to get there right now”. And she goes and she’s running and she’s hauling a** – and then it changes to the next scene, which she’s not in, and then you never see her again in the movie, ever. It’s the last time you see her, what happened to her? Did she – did she get to the town? Did she get into a car wreck? Did they edit it out? Did she find Jimmy Hoffa? She’s just gone now, I guess. So in that, the movie kinda felt a little disjointed. And it’s a really serious movie, too. The funniest part was when it’s all talking about how people touch their face like two thousand times a day and they’re shakin’ hands with people and spreadin’ germs, and it shows and concentrates on someone like putting down a glass and someone else pickin’ up the glass, and you’re like, “Argh, you just transferred a virus!” And I’m sittin’ there – I really was; this really happened – I’m sittin’ in the auditorium opening my candy wrapper with my teeth while it’s explaining this, all like, "Yeah, yeah, it’s spreadin’ viruses; you guys shouldn’t do that; it’s pretty careless. Ahh, there we go. Don’t be dumb. Wash your…hands." That was pretty funny. Rest of the movie is dead serious. I like the fear; I like seeing people loot; I like seeing Matt Damon kinda adapt to the situation. He goes from normal family guy to the guy survivin’ in the apocalypse in the span of a hundred and somethin’ days that this takes places. But then the movie just cuts off; it just ends! Like, ‘Outbreak’ – to compare it – the movie comes to a head and then there’s just this intense situation; you’re just bitin’ your nails, and you know you shouldn’t bite your nails because now you know there are germs under your nails and you’re gonna spread African Motaba to everything, but you’re biting your nails and it’s really intense! This movie went on and then it ended and then…end credits and that was that. So if you like these virus movies, you’re gonna enjoy this movie, but you’re not gonna like the end; you’re gonna feel like it was a bit choppy. But I will say it’s a good time, no alcohol required. Be a very realistic and scary time in which you’re gonna be convinced that you’re gonna catch a virus going home and die the next day. I wanted to like it more than I did. But I still did enjoy it. So, virus movie; virus scenario; ‘Outbreak’/‘Contagion-type movie – what’s your favourite? Comment below; let me know! And, as always, if you like what you’ve seen here and you wanna see more, click right here to see more!"
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