Transcripts of dating advice by a man from practicalhappiness.com, for any hard-of-hearing folk who are interested in such advice on YouTube.
'Long-distance relationship - worth it?':
“Is it worth being in a long-distance relationship? Well, obviously every case and every situation is unique and different, and there is no single answer that would apply to every single relationship. However, there are several important questions that you should ask yourself that will really help you determine whether your long-distance relationship is worth having and worth continuing putting in the effort into.
The first question you should ask yourself is whether or not you are in that relationship for the right reasons. Are you in that long-distance relationship because you feel that that other person is so special to you and it’s such a rare opportunity and you have these strong feelings that you haven’t had in a while for anybody (or you’ve never had for anybody)? Or are you in that relationship because you’re lonely and you have been lonely for a while and you feel that you don’t have any other options than having that relationship? With a person by email, or by phone; somebody you hardly ever see – having that is better than nothing. If the latter is the case, it’s probably the wrong reason to be in a long-distance relationship, because you’re feeding a certain hope that’s probably bound to fail for you and for that other person, and your efforts are probably better spent looking for a relationship where you can see each other more often or as often as you can.
The second question you should ask yourself is whether or not there is a real probability that you will be able to see each other more often in the foreseeable future. If both of you have plans to make things work out and to move closer together and to be able to see each other more often, that’s great and that’s something wonderful to look forward to. However, if both of you don’t have any such plans; you’re not willing to change your life and nothing is likely to change about the lives of both of you, then there’s probably no point to continue developing feelings for each other because the le - the longer it will last, the more painful the break-up or the end of that communication will be.
And the last factor you should consider is how difficult it is, time-wise and financially, for you to make an effort to see each other. For some people, it’s not a big deal. I know a number of people who live in the East Coast and they come to see their partner on the West Coast, and they do it every weekend and it’s not a big deal. Buying a flight ticket is not that big of a deal for them; they’re used to travelling and flying all the time for work, so it’s not an obstacle. For other people, driving an hour could be an obstacle. It could be too expensive and/or it could be too time-consuming, and it’s really hard for them to make it. So, the financial consideration is also something you should keep in mind.
So, if you are in a situation where you have a long –distance relationship and you’re considering whether it’s worth making an effort and it’s worth continuing to stay in touch with that other person, ask yourself these three basic questions and it will really help you determine whether you should continue, especially if you are being honest with yourself and with the other person. Thank you.”
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