“There’s a life lesson in this movie: Sometimes crime…goes bad. And sometimes movies about crime…oh, yeah, they go bad too.
‘30 Minutes or Less’. Now, ‘30 Minutes or Less’ is directed by the guy who directed ‘Zombieland’, so right there I was like, “Awesome!” And Jesse Eisenberg was also in ‘Zombieland’, so it’s like that guy and Jesse Eisenberg are kinda like DiCaprio and Scorsese only…you know, not like that at all. And Jesse Eisenberg isn’t really going anywhere in life; he’s a pizza delivery guy. His friend from ‘Parks and Recreation’, whose name I really don’t know, he has more going for him in life; he’s a substitute teacher. But really the coolest thing about that is you get summers off, otherwise that job would pretty much suck a** too. And then you have Danny McBride and his friend, whose name I don’t know. I don’t know everyone’s name. Who are also nowhere in life and Danny McBride’s dad is like a millionaire. So Danny McBride gets the idea from this stripper that he should hire someone to kill his dad so Danny McBride can get his inheritance. So Danny McBride’s friend makes a bomb which they strap to Jesse Eisenberg’s chest, and so they’re like, “All right, Jesse Eisenberg, you now have ten hours to get us $100 000 so I can hire a hitman to kill my father so I can get my inheritance”. And if Jesse Eisenberg fails…well, he goes boom. And then our eighty minute- long movie ensues. Now, this movie had a ridiculous premise, so I was like, “It’s gonna be hilarious”. And it’s directed by the guy who directed ‘Zombieland’, so I was like, “It’s gonna be hilarious”. And the movie…was kinda funny in parts. It was just so disjointed, like for the first half, it was choppy; didn’t know where it wanted to go. Or even what kind of movie it wanted to be. And then in the second half of the movie, it picks up and becomes better. With forty minutes left in the movie. But still, it just wasn’t enough. It’s almost like the guy who wrote this movie was in script writing college and he was struggling; he didn’t know what to do, so he had five room mates, so he just cherry picked from their scripts and he put his script together and now we have this. And, I don’t know what it is – there’s something about that guy that’s Jesse Eisenberg’s friend; there’s something about his voice, it just annoys me. I saw him in like one season of ‘Scrubs’ and I was like, “There’s something about that guy…I don’t like him”. *Speaking with a higher voice* He kind of has this high voice like this. Eurgh. Which is funny because some people have said that about me; they’re like, “Dude, there’s something about your voice I hate”. And if it’s anything like that guy, I’m like “Oh, I get it now, all right; that’s cool”. One cool thing came out of this movie, though. The coolest part of the movie is this car chase scene, in which the music playing to it is that 80’s song, ‘The Heat Is On’. I was like, “Dude, when I get home, I am TOTALLY playing ‘Burn Out’ to that song!” Which is funny ’cause I came home and I started filming videos. But I will play ‘Burn Out’ to that song, ’cause it just looks awesome. Silver lining, people. We’re looking for a silver lining. So in the end, it had some funny one-liners and it had a few funny scenes, but the movie was either boring or disjointed or all over the place – all around, just kind of forgettable. In the end, you’re not gonna remember it in T-Minus…five hours. That’s the time I’ll give it – five hours. So, OK, movie fanatics – favourite robbery scene of any movie ever? Could be robbing anything, doesn’t matter. Comment below; let me know. And, as always, if you like what you’ve seen here and you wanna see more, click right here to see more!”
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