"“I’ll see ya soon.” I love that guy.
‘Final Destination 5’: All right, it’s really funny about ‘Final Destination’ movies. I think you can watch my review of ‘The Final Destination’, or ‘Final Destination 4’, and whatever I said in there probably applies to this movie. But in ‘Final Destination 5’ there’s gonna be a big disaster; it’s a bridge this time that collapses. One generic kid gets a vision of the whole thing and tells everyone to scram off the bridge. The ones that get off the bridge, they live; everyone else dies, and now… “Death’s coming for you.” But as for ‘Final Destination 5’, once again Death is pissed off that he’s been cheated out of eight souls, so now he’s sequentially killing them off – in glorious manner. And let’s face it – this movie exists for one thing: the deaths. Which, I’m not gonna lie, in terms of ‘Final Destination 5’, if I were to work on this movie or something, there are two jobs that I would want. One, the guy that has to think up all the weird-ass mouse trap-style deaths. That is the guy with imagination right there. Probably a pretty fun job, too. And admit it, you think of that s*** too. AND the casting director. I think the casting director in this movie has the easiest job ever. Because here’s how you cast a ‘Final Destination’ movie: you take the names of all the hopeful waiters in L.A, put them all in a hat, draw eight names out – you now have your cast for ‘Final Destination’. Done. “I’ll see ya soon.” Other than the boss from ‘Waiting’ and that guy from, you know, a hundred other Comedies, the most recognisable face in this movie is not even his face you recognise! He looks like a young Tom Cruise impersonator; that’s why you recognise him. Yeah, not Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise impersonator. Now, as for the deaths in this movie, some of them are really cool; some of them are…deyuh. Some of them just kinda fell short. There were a couple that had really good build-up and then in the end, gravity killed ’em. I mean, at first it was like, “OK, it’s starting to get elaborate”, and in the end, it was just a fall. ’Cause nothing beats the second one – log through the face! Just beautiful. I’m feelin’ pretty morbid right now, but it’s probably my favourite ‘Final Destination’ death. As for the 3D, it was garbage. I didn’t think the 3D looked good at all. The depth of field was crap; it was blurry in some scenes. It’s just, no. It had a lot of 3D gimmicks of course, like poles going through people’s bodies and there, you know, just doing that whole thing where it pops out at ya. That being said, the 3D still looked like crap. Because I am done with the whole movie theatre gimmick at this point. The moment I saw ‘4D Aroma-Scope’…done. And when I was watching the movie, I was like, “They should just make a montage of just all the deaths in ‘Final Destination’”. Sure enough! End credits come, montage of all the deaths from the other four movies. Made my day; coolest part of the movie right there. It’s like I felt the love from the movie at that point; it was like Valentine’s Day. So it has the acting you expect; it has the people you expect; it has the hot chicks you expect. It has the deaths you kind of expect, but you kinda get disappointed also. Some are really cool; some disappointing. In the end, this movie will probably be a good time when you’re drunk. “Yeahh, now it’s a party! …I can’t feel my face.” I say when, not if, ’cause you know you’re gonna go to this movie hammered. But be respectful to your movie theatre crew and…don’t puke in the aisles. So what is your favourite movie death in any movie ever? Not just ‘Final Destination’, but any movie ever. You can do ‘Final Destination’ and any movie ever if you want. For me it’s gotta be ‘Jason X’ – *****y movie, awesome death. There’s a sink of liquid nitrogen; ‘Jason’ takes the girl’s head and puts her head in the liquid nitrogen, and the camera’s looking up from the bottom of the sink and you see her just scream, and then her face freezes… then he just pulls her head out and just smashes it on the counter. Coolest death everrr. Whatever it is, comment below; let me know! And, as always, if you like what you’ve seen and you wanna see more, click right here to see more!"
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