“Once again things go bump in the night, and once again…they make a movie about it.
‘Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark’! Although, you probably should be if you have a creepy uncle. All right, so I never saw a trailer to this movie, so I didn’t know what to expect, but ‘Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark’ stars Guy Pearce, Katie Holmes, and some little girl. And they live in this really big creepy a** house, like Malfoy Manor or somethin’, and of course there are things in which you should probably be afraid of the dark. For me, the beginning of this movie is like the creepiest part. There is this really creepy guy – takes place in the year like 1800 somethin’ – but this creepy guy does something, dude. I was like, “Aw, God, can’t watch”. It was pretty cringe-worthy and it happened at the very beginning; no part in this movie was ever as good as that. So it’s kinda just downhill from there. But seriously, though, it was like bite the curb in ‘American History X’ – noo. And when things go bump in the night, it’s one of three things: either a crazy guy, a ghost, or a little creature. Without giving it away too much, this one’s a little creature; it’s not a ghost. At this point in my life, once I see what goes bump in the night, it loses me. I’m like, “Oh, I already know now; it’s not creepy”. The couple parts I did jump at, it was because of jump scares. You know how I hate those. Movies should not rely on jump scares; this does. Not to say these little things aren’t creepy little b******s. I’m just sayin’ they’re not creepy to an adult. It’s like, I can guarantee you, if a kid sees this movie, they’re gonna be scared s***less. If I saw this as a kid, I wouldn’t sleep for years. But since I didn’t, I’m gonna go to bed tonight and I’m just gonna sleep like a baby. Actually, correction, I’m gonna stay up all night, but not because I’m scared! Because I need to go to Pax in the morning and I’m just not gonna sleep. Shut up, it’s not because I’m scared. And it concentrates a lot on the relationship between Katie Holmes and this little girl. You know – step mom–daughter kinda s***. But you don’t care; you just wanna see the little Vermicious Knids or whatever scare the s*** out of this kid. But when it happens, it’s just not scary. So it’s like this is a scary movie that will only scare kids, but if parents take their kids to see this movie, they’re a**holes! They are s*** people! Couple of intense scenes, though. Couple of times, you’re like, “Oh, dude!” So in the end, I will say…it’s all right, but you’re not gonna remember it in t-minus…one night. Which we’ll see – if I do sleep at night and I do get creeped out if I’m thinking about this movie, I’ll put an annotation right there saying, “Yes, Jeremy was creeped out”. Then again, I do videos at night and sleep during the day, so. I feel like I’m a bad example. When you were a kid, what creeped the living s*** outta you? Comment below; let me know! For me, it was the ‘Bumble’ from ‘Rudolph’. Look at that dude – scared the living p**s outta me. How did they think that was OK for a kid to watch? Seriously. In any case, if you like what you’ve seen here and you wanna see more, click right here to see more!”
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